So I said it would take me 75 days to get over him. Well, it's been 75 days and I'm still not over him.
I should be happy - I got what I wanted, though 3.5 people's lives may have been destroyed in the process. But I'm not, and I didn't, because secretly, I always wanted more, though I dared not speak its name...
Well, we can't always get what we want, so there's nothing left for me now but to get used to my new existence... as Magic's helpless sex prisoner.
Oh, and to ask myself how something so bright and beautiful in life - sexual love - could have been transformed into something so vile and abhorrent, like a child's face disfigured with leprosy; I feel its taint seeping through every fibre of my body and mind, infecting and contaminating me, robbing me of even the sunlit backdrop of my memories, leaving nothing sweet and innocent in life untouched, casting even my darling baby beneath a long shadow of doubt.
It's hard enough to accept that what was, can no longer be, but that it should no longer even have been what it was, is surely a tragic ignominy!
Oh, and to ask myself how something so bright and beautiful in life - sexual love - could have been transformed into something so vile and abhorrent, like a child's face disfigured with leprosy; I feel its taint seeping through every fibre of my body and mind, infecting and contaminating me, robbing me of even the sunlit backdrop of my memories, leaving nothing sweet and innocent in life untouched, casting even my darling baby beneath a long shadow of doubt.
It's hard enough to accept that what was, can no longer be, but that it should no longer even have been what it was, is surely a tragic ignominy!
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