Sunday, 17 July 2011

Sound and Fury

So, it's been almost a month since THAT fateful message, and now I get a message from Magic: "We need to talk. In private." Of course I'm thinking: they changed their minds and got to him after all! 

My mouth felt all of a sudden dry and parched, as if I were walking through the Empty Quarter, rather than the streets of London (with high heels and a 20 lb baby). And despite the abject terror gnawing at my stomach, I couldn't help but be impressed at the relative calm with which he had apparently taken this news.

And then, of course, it turned out to be something COMPLETELY UNRELATED!!!!

So I couldn't even distract myself with thoughts of vengeance - not that I had been able to, up to this point, for I knew I would never go through with it, not because of any misplaced sense of loyalty or the kindness of my heart, but because... well, why bother, really? I mean, WTF do I care?

In fact the one good thing that has come of all this is that now I don't feel like I've been unfairly let off the hook, so to speak. I mean, I think I was suffering from some sort of survivor's guilt syndrome, almost. But after this I honestly don't think I can take any more drama!

And the worst part of it is that all those things one does for another person over the years - lugging groceries across town and standing over the stove for hours and hours - it all amounts to nothing, a hundred thousand brownie points cancelled out by one semi-nude picture taken for a stranger on the internet.

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